I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
