so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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