Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Pants are for mortals
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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