I love black thongs
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
