her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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