so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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