I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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