There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
