My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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