I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
soo... how was my night?
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