Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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