i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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