i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
