hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i just google imaged poop.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
