I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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