sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
