Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
