Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
