Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
