Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
