They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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