If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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