Your tits are I can't wait for
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
