I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize