Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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