Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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