Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
