living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
