last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize