Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
