I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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