I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
birth control should be required to get into college
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
