I must be too annoying 4 u.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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