I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
