in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
My vagina is very pro this idea
Drunk is a universal language darling
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