I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
