ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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