I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
