so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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