HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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