Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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