I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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