I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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