No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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