the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
are you so shy because you have an std?
he puts the penis in happiness.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
