Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
