yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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