so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
