I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
My ass is underappreciated
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
