good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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