One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Let's get the cat blown out
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
