I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
