There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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