So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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