Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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