I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize
