she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
