Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize