no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
